i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
