Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
