I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
