So drunk, too bad you don't want this
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
