I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
