Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
