Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Randomize
