She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
