yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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