Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
