Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
