Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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