if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
