I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
