alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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