tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
