lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
