im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
