I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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