You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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