In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
