I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
