I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
