she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
