Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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