I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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