I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
