dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
