Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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