The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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