What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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