11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
