I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
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