this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
