I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
