yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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