My cat gives me a boner
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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