I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
