It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
