So drunk its hurt
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
