So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
