I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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