I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
