new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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