Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
