Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
