i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
