Just cropdusted the office
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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