she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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