you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
