Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
