I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
